Finding an Editor is like finding a Dentist!

Finding an Editor for my self-published book plus several titles I am working on, is like finding a dentist. Both have one thing in common: I cannot afford either of them!

So my first book sits on several sites like Amazon, iBooks, and about 4 more sites, with no reviews. It has two reviews from Smashwords and I am so grateful! I listened to what they said and changed the book and cover.

I’m disabled on disability with two teenage boys who eat all the time, bills are a joke and I help my mom take care of my grandma/her mom, and I help my mom when her MS is bad. I have an eye disorder too so SEEING mistakes in my books is harder.

I could never afford an Editor because my goal is to keep my work at FREE pricing. Can’t do that on Amazon but through Draft2Digital I can get it on Barnes and Noble, iBooks and more priced at FREE!

This title has been out since December of last year, I did a giveaway on goodreads for ten books and it is free on Smashwords too but before that I had it on Amazon through their 3 month program where I could offer it for free lending. So I know someone must have read it! Two are confirmed.

As I work on finishing a new title, the weight of my world coupled with my seemingly lack of talent haunts my mind. Stop smoking, take care of my depression, anxiety, ADD, and Myasthenia Gravis and everything else under this roof (autistic son, one who has no “I’m full” trigger) and know my work is out in this world not shining like a jewel because I have been the only proofreader but maybe it’s just a piece of fool’s gold. I told myself I was publishing my books for myself, self satisfaction not for money or fame or even one review. It was important to me to get my first book published quickly because I needed my grandma to see it. She can pass away at any moment right now.

I have American Indian blood of the Chickasaw tribe in Oklahoma. If I lived there instead of California, I could get free dental work, health care and a house. A house in the middle of scorpions, ticks and tarantulas along with tornados. I’ll stick with earthquakes here in California. Besides the one and only time I went to Oklahoma was to see my birth father, where the indian blood came from, and my half brother tried to shoot me for fun, because he was bored! Nope. Not going back.

There is a TV show in the USA right now called Smile. It showcases people who get free dental work. Circumstances in their lives that has led to their rotting teeth is extraordinary but i can relate. I was born early and was too premature. I can’t afford a dentist to fix my teeth so I just have one here and there pull the tooth out. It sets me back financially of course but that’s all I can do. I don’t smile because of my teeth or missing teeth. I’ll never date. Shoot, I’m making myself depressed.

Life is a gift, and we can view it in a positive light or a negative cloud.  Pushing through all the muck around me, I’m grasping at the light, holding on to it with all my strength and promising myself that no matter what, I’ll never let go.

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