music more than just something, love more than just living

Just finished watching Les Miserables, 2012. It was beautiful on stage and emotionally moving on film.  It comes second to Phantom of the Opera, the film.  I enjoyed the many stage productions but Gerard Butler’s performance holds so much emotion, in his eyes, his stance, he is the perfect ‘Erik/Phantom’.  Especially since he does not wear that darn pinky ring I’ve seen others wear. Too pompous for me. Mr. Butler’s ‘Erik’ is haunting and this movie’s soundtrack especially ‘Point of No Return’, is my haven from the pain of this world. If the clouds cover the sky and hide the sun, I have this music to be lost in.  Should my life prove to be harder than I could believe it could be, I have this music.  In music you can close your eyes, and lose yourself in it.  It lifts my depression, strengthens my soul and brings a smile upon my lips. Listening to this particular song, as Mr. Butler sings at first, tender then at that one point the tenderness is gone and the need, want, obsession with ‘Christine’ is emotionally warped but in a good way.  I’m always humming parts of this soundtrack, and my younger son will say, “Phantom of the Opera again momma?” and my response, “Of course my love! His voice haunts me. It is beautiful.” and he replies to me, “You sing that a lot” and me “yes I do.”  We exchange smiles and life continues.

If my life is meant to be a mother, daughter and granddaughter, ex-wife and whatever other label anyone wants to put upon me, is there nothing else? I know love, have felt its strength, if I cannot have someone love me (family not included), be alone with my soul for the rest of my days, soon I will be turning 40, and with one son who is 15 and the other turning 10 soon, what will I do to fill those years when they no longer need me?  Online dating is not an option as everyone lies. People ask me now and then, am I dating. Are you kidding me? My first thoughts, ‘who would want me?’ and then blocking those thoughts out, ‘no time right now.’ I have fought to live, and this is the life I am living. the path I chose to follow. Death will come one day for me but not at my own hands and not over something as complicated as the love of a man. I don’t need another person in my life telling me what to do, how to do it and all that.  I know, not all marriages are like that, some are fabulous and wonderful but those are shapeless dreams floating away on errant clouds. Clearing my soul. There is no escape from life but to go on. And any thoughts otherwise is time best spent doing other things. key word there was DOING. Which means live. Don’t take the so called easy route out of life, don’t choose suicide. I’ve been on both sides of that coin and I am here today to keep you on the same side of the coin I chose. Life, for me, for you. ImageColleen


free books from amazon. free at time of this post.
Shadows Fall (Others of Edenton) [Kindle Edition]
Brandy L Rivers (Author)
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18+ Novelette
Celestial Beginnings (Nephilim Series) [Kindle Edition]
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Just Breathe [Kindle Edition]
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Wolf’s Haven (Multicultural Shifter Romance) (Caedmon Wolves) [Kindle Edition]
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Mate Of The Werewolf (Changeling Encounters) [Kindle Edition]
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The Ghost and The Graveyard (Knight Games) [Kindle Edition]
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Rising Dawn (The Jessica Dawn Series) [Kindle Edition]
E.I Jennings (Author)

Grab free ebooks, “Kevin and the Seven Lions”, a ramble or too and a chance to edit books?

I have added two new book reviews that can be found here:

And I’ve got a great list of free ebooks from Amazon I compile myself and they are books I have chosen to read. Please note there are several books on this list without reviews. I posted the ones without reviews (HELP A FELLOW AUTHOR OUT WITH A REVIEW ON AMAZON) directly to Facebook earlier today.

Do you like reviewing books? Check this out:

I’m a crazy ‘Harry Potter’ fan and my youngest son and I are watching the second movie, ‘Chamber of Secrets’ and I always have fun watching something with him.  He received his Kingdom Hearts Sora figure today and the first thing he did was accidentally break the key blade. This figure cost over fifty bucks so I put the broken pieces in a bag to save for later even though I spent more than thirty minutes trying to get the tiny pieces back together.  As soon as the movie is over, I’m on to editing my first book, “Altered Futures, Guardian Warriors, The LightMate Series Book One”. Yeah that title has got to be shortened!

Ramble: Why can one phone call totally change the tone of the day not just for one person but a household of five? I rather wish it was someone trying to sell me plastic baggies than the Dr. calling about something wrong with someone.

One important note, book 1, “Kevin and the Seven Lions” is available from Amazon today for free so make sure you get over there and check it out! Here is the URL:

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