Mental health and Foggy Days & My first book is published and available on Amazon!

This Is Life

My son is in the hospital for depression. It’s been hard but his father drove me to see him on Saturday and Sunday. His 72 hour hold is over and he will be discharged on Wednesday.  It was one of the most hardest things I have ever done. To bring my son to crisis where he was taken back behind many locked doors by these very big men. Then they moved him by ambulance, totally strapped down from neck to feet more than an hour away.

Other than missing his handheld gaming system, food at home, and some other regular day comforts, he is doing quite well. I just pray that this is helping him as his life is just beginning and I need him to thrive while he survives.

On another note, our neighbors had a party last night and they turned their sound system all the way up. God says to forgive your neighbors but I found it hard because I already had a migraine and they do not care what time it is or how loud they are or to be courteous to thy neighbors. I called the police the last time they did this and they threw eggs on our cars. But on that occurrence their sound system was maxed out and on both times, the chairs we sat in vibrated from their pounding, swearing music.

My mom’s multiple sclerosis has not improved rather it is weakening her further. She couldn’t get pills down her throat without gagging so she’s wearing a cervical collar and it helps like magic! I am a caregiver to both my mom and grandma who;s leg was amputated in April of this year. I am a mom of two boys I love dearly and guardian of four cats that do not always get along and I am constantly cleaning up their messes as one overeats and up it comes while another overeats and makes a mess in both ways which can get pretty stinky, poor maine coon kitty. So furry. While our cat that overeats got bitten by another one of its siblings, I took him to the vet a week ago and he’s 21 pounds. He is doing much better now.

My happiest note is that I took my book I wrote for 2014 NaNoWriMo.org and I ordered the proof paperback and published it on Amazon!  I want it available as free so I’m going to have to figure it out as it would not let me do that. The lowest I could go was $0.99 and I am all about free books!

I will gladly send a copy to anyone who would be willing to write a review for me. This book was written in thirty days and edited in fifteen days by myself. It is just the beginning as I have one more complete novel that is my jewel that I am editing right now.

We have super foggy nights and mornings and I hope  that people drive safely! It didn’t rain but the cars drive by making that swooshing sound from the wet pavement.

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http://www.amazon.com/Love-Awakens-Colleen-Johnson-ebook/dp/B00QPRMJ60

I am going to give a paperback copy away in goodreads once I finish the proof.

Life from December 2013 to now May 2014

I don’t know about you, but my life unraveled right at Christmas in 2013 and hasn’t settled yet and here it is May 2014. I miss being on my computer, posting reviews on great books, posting free books and reading about what everyone else is up to.  I haven’t touched my own draft of my first book. Nothing is the same nor will it ever be.

So let me give a bit of an update. I live with my mother who has multiple sclerosis, my grandmother, my two boys and our combined four cats.  But something went very wrong with my mother and grandmother.  My  mother’s MS overtook her and she lost the ability to walk. After bizillions of dollars later in MRIs, we can see lesions on her brain and spine. MS damage cannot be reversed.  My grandmother, after 2 angiograms later, lost her leg to an above knee amputation from PAD, puliminary aterial disease.  She is currently awaiting the removal of her staples two weeks from now.

My 15 year old son turns 16 this month but he’s not your average boy who wants a phone or car.  He is emotionally delayed.  My 10 year old wants to graduate school right this moment, get a great job and drive a car.

My hands no longer work as much as they did and I have no control over my fingers. Typing is excruciatingly painful and slow since not all my fingers move. Carpal tunnel nerve damage.  I’ve lost vision in my right eye and my eyes want to cross as well as my neck, when I turn to face a bit to my right, begins to shake hard all on its own.

My kids father has had to sell his house and is looking for work. Life is so very different.

I’ve pushed depression out of my mind because it’s not an option for me. I have too many responsibilities right now, people depending on me. No more gardening though.  Leave the depression behind and embrace each day as if it is brand new with infinite possibilities. Take the time to look at the sky, smell those flowers even with allergies!

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